You see, I found out recently that I’m good, but not good enough. If you have followed my blog, you will know that for the second year in a row, I entered a story into the Fish Publishing Short Memoir Competition. And for the second time, I was shortlisted…from 810 entries down to the final 81. Not bad, eh? I was really hopeful. After all, I had worked on that story really hard. It was surely the best it could be. And Fish Publishing obviously thought it was good enough to print in their anthology, as they selected it for final judging by author, Molly McCloskey.
But Molly didn’t like it. I didn’t get into the Top Ten. My head was telling me that to be shortlisted was an achievement in itself, and that I should be pleased. But my heart was telling me it was not good enough. I must do better.
In despair, I decided never to write again, and to go and find a proper job. (That thought lasted, oooh, all of five minutes!)
Then I had an idea for a quirk in the synopsis of my new project, The Fenian King, and I was running for my laptop!
(By the way, have I introduced you to my laptop yet? Her name is FoxyRoxy, she’s red and shiny and new, and sits in pride of place on my equally shiny, red desk. This is where all my ideas are converted into stories.)
Would I be a better mum, wife, housekeeper if I didn’t write and got a proper job?
Will my boys remember, when they are adults, that the windows always needed cleaning, or that they had lasagne twice in a row one week because I was too busy writing to go food shopping?
But they will remember that I wrote a book; that I created a book trailer to go with it; that we visited all the sites featured in the book and I told them all the associated legends, and what happens there in my book; they’ll remember seeing my book on sale in our local bookshop and on Amazon, and they’ll know that if they really want something, and are prepared to work hard enough for it, they can achieve anything.
As Annalee said of Tir na Nog, “Anything is possible…”