For Our Lost Children | A Poem

Butterfly and dandelion

Another morning dawns bright and clear,

a winter’s day, cold and still.

I should be glad,

but I’m gripped by fear,

heart heavy, slowed by an aching chill.

I feel only empty and sad.

*

I miss their smiling faces.

They smiled a lot. I see them everywhere,

just a fleeting glimpse, a flash of light,

then they move on to other places.

Stuck in the moment, I can only stare

into the void left behind by their flight.

*

They were too quick for me, for us.

They lived their whole lifetimes

before we were ready to let them go.

So we endure, comforted by memories, pained by loss,

guilty of love, of ignorance, of hope, our human crimes.

We did our best, I hope they know.

*

Life goes on, we are told,

but for a while it passes us by.

Lazy is Time; sly, cruel, unkind,

beating us with remembrances, ragged and bold,

softening emotions, smoothing grief while we cry,

eventually bringing peace of mind.

19 Comments on “For Our Lost Children | A Poem

  1. Wow, beautiful poetry, I particularly love the last bit:

    Lazy is Time; sly, cruel, unkind,

    beating us with remembrances, ragged and bold,

    softening emotions, smoothing grief while we cry,

    eventually bringing peace of mind.

    what wonderful imagery – ‘beating us with remembrances,’ love it. Lazy is time… you have an amazing talent at weaving words πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

      • oh gosh, thats just awful, their poor parents, I can’t even imagine what they must have gone through. I struggle to think about things like that. My son is only one, and he is literally my life, I used to be so emotionless and never cried about anything, these days I can’t even bear to watch anything thats slightly horrible about children I end up in floods, and it makes me feel sick thinking about losing him. Makes the poem even more special knowing where it came from, what a powerful piece.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. So sorry for your loss, Janet and Ali I feel for you too. You have such a big heart and being part of the Muscular Dystrophy community, it is awful when one of our young ones is lost. Our children are so precious!! I send you my love and prayers.
    xx Rowena

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    • Thank you Rowena. Its hard not to take it personally isnt it? These kids live such short lives full of pain and difficulties we can barely imagine, yet they still have so much joy and love. We can learn so much from them.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ali,
        I think it’s very hard for people who don’t know such children to understand the grief and the loss when one of these courageous little ones pass and what their loss truly means to their families. Your poem was such a beautiful tribute and it’s really good that you can share your journey with the outside world through your blog. xx Rowena

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        • Thank you Rowena. The fear of losing Carys is a black cloud I live under most of the time. I can ignore it, but then something happens and it rushes in to overwhelm me. Like losing one of our other precious cfc children, or like the other day, Carys began choking and couldnt cough up. She went all floppy and lifeless. My husband did the Heimlich on her and I picked up the phone to dial 999. Just as I did that she took a deep breath and started to cry. Its the 3rd time thats happened. The last time she did end up in hospital. Simple coughs and colds terrify me, because they are never simple where Carys is concerned! Look, I just wrote a long sad essay! Sorry about that!

          Liked by 1 person

          • Ali, you can write me an essay any time. I don’t know what this thing is called but you can get a hand-held device to help dislodge things. I’m not putting this well but it looks a bit like a plunger you would use to clear a blocked sink. I saw it at the Muscular Dystrophy medical seminar. That might help.
            I know what you mean about simple coughs and colds. I have reduced immunity and my lungs are currently at around 62% but have been as low as 48% lung volume. I actually stopped breathing briefly when I had pneumonia last year. This year as well as having the usual vaccinations, I’ve avoided crowds in winter and I really should be wearing a face mask at times. There’s a photo of my son and I making Irish Stew together on my blog and we are both wearing face masks as he had a cold. I’ve had a really bad cough and thought I was dying the other night but when I went to the doctor , my lungs were clear. I cojldn’t believe it. Went back and the doctor did a peak flow and I went on the nebuliser and it made no difference.
            My son also has asthma and I remember terrible nights at his cot with him coughing and coughing and coughing and thinking the worst but when we went to the hospital, apparently the coughing was a good sign.
            A friend of mine had a daughter with Rhett’s syndrome and she died of pneumonia when she was about 18. Mum had taken her to the doctor but it deteriorated quickly and she stopped breathing in her sleep. They drove her to the hospital but it was too late.
            Your concerns are justified which doesn’t make them any easier and I now what it’s like to be Mama bear and fighting to save your cub. Most of us would do absolutely anything to save our children.
            One other suggestion before I head off which may be difficult for Carys is taking olive leaf extract. It’s very high in antioxidants and can shift a mild chest infection. She might take it mixed with some juice.
            On that note, I’d better head off. It’s very late here.
            Take care and all the best, Rowena

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  3. Oh Ali, I can feel your grief in this poem. It’s beautiful but so sad. What is remembered lives. I can’t see their faces or know their names but I will remember with you.

    Like

    • Thank you Γ‰ilis! Another little boy with cfc was unexpectedly taken from us recently. He was only 4, a little ray of sunshine he was. Our children seem so robust on the outside, but it just hides how fragile they really are within.

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      • Thank you ,people dont under stand cfc need to get word out even the ones that should know dont under stand or didnt try but the poem was great We all have a broken heart that little man was our world for the past 4 years

        Liked by 1 person

        • Brody had a special quality that I cant quite put my finger on. He drew you in, he was open and loving, I could see that. Charlie had it too, and I see it in my Carys too. I think about him every day. I loved seeing his daily pics. And he ADORED his baby sister! He was a proper little charmer, and he touched my heart, Janet. Xxx

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